All About Relationships

Living The Dream

The Newsletter Of Bill Herring, LCSW. -

The Theme For This Issue Is.....

This premier issue of "Living The Dream" focuses on thoughts, tips and techniques for maintaining a healthy primary relationship. I've helped couples for many years to develop helpful skills for improving communication, resolving conflict, increasing intimacy and addressing the many other issues that couples face. A healthy relationship can sometimes take a lot of mutual effort and dedication! I hope the information in this issue can be helpful i many ways. I also welcome comments on this newsletter, including suggestions for improvement. I hope to hear from you! -Bill

Recent Articles

I've just posted an article titled "Your REAL Relationship Problem", which discusses how to turn any problem or conflict with a partner into an opportunity for personal growth.  It discusses two primary tasks for managing relationship struggles in the most effective manner: self-confrontation and self-calming.  Read about it here



I've also written several other articles about relationships that can help improve the skills that all couples need to possess.  One of them that is drawing readers from around the world is "John Gray's Love Letter Technique", which describes a very effective method for conveying difficult feelings to a partner in written form.


I've also written "Get SET For Effective Communication", which describes a simple technique for improing communication skills in difficult situations.  Sometimes the best tools are the simplest!


Another article I've written is "A Useful Definition of Intimacy", which is a short piece that corrects some common misconceptions about what it takes to achieve emotional intimacy.  How does my definition match up with yours?


I've also written several specifics "how-to" guides to improve couples communication, such at "The Art of Apologizing", and "The Four Denials of Responsibility".  Both of them take important concepts to a deeper and more effective level than many people have ever had the chance to learn.  If you read them together you will be able to see how they relate to each other in several important ways.


Even more articles like these are on my website.  I also enocurage people to contact me directly for any further information or assistance I can provide about strengthening and healing important relationships.


Finally, on my blog I have just published "Communicating About Communication", an article that discusses some of the challenges couples face in creating and maintaining mutual interaction that is productive and emotionally supportive. 

Quote of the Month

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin"

Book Review of the Month

In keeping with this issue's theme on relationships, the book I'm going to review is "How To Be An Adult In Relationships", by David Richo.  This is not a "quick fix-it" book but a thoughtful, spiritually-grounded book about finding your most authentic self amid the challenge of living with another person in a committed relationship. 

The sub-title to this well-written book is "The Five Keys To Mindful Loving" and includes a thoughtful consideration of how childhood experiences flavor adult relationship values, strengths and challenges.  The chapter on healthy boundaries is especially useful.  This is not a simplistic book but a meaningful exploration of the importance of developing a deeper relationship with yourself in order to have the healthiest, most satisfying and authentic relationship possible for both you and your partner.

Watch for more helpful book revierws in future issues of this newsletter!

Useful Links
Psychology Today - This site is full of interesting articles and is basically the online version of the popular magazine about human personality Marriage - This site contains a wealth of information about virtually every aspect of marriage

Question of the Month
Q. Do couples who live together before marriage have stronger marriages?

It's estimated that over half of all couples live together before marriage. Many think that living together can be a kind of "trial" marriage that lets two people find out if they are compatible with each other before deciding whether to make a lifetime commitment. However, the reality is that couples who live together prior to marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don't. One theory is that some couples gradually "slide" into the decision to marriage after living together over a period of time. This is not the same type of commitment that happens when people are more deliberate about their relationship. This explains why people who get engaged and THEN live together prior to marriage do not have higher divorce rates than those who never live together. People who are "serial cohabiters" have exceptionally high rates of divorce. People who cohabitate may not be as likley to "stick it out" when they are dissatisfied in the relationship. The bottom line is that it's very important for couples considering moving in together discuss to discuss their plans and expectations with each other very carefully.


Bill Herring is an Atlanta-based counselor and psychotherapist who for the last 20 years has helped individuals and couples to enjoy lives that are fuller, happier, productive and meaningful. He treats a wide variety of personal and relationship problems and is a recognized expert in helping people heal from chronic infidelity, excessive pornography and the many other forms of risky, secret, unethical or compulsive sexual behavior.

Contact Information
Bill Herring LCSW
2127 Vistadale Court
Atlanta, GA 30084

Copyright (C) 2009 Bill Herring LCSW All rights reserved.