Healing From Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is a progressive and potentially devastating pattern of behavior that affects people from all walks of life. It offers an intense high as powerful as any drug.  The great cost of this addiction includes isolation, shame, betrayal, disease and legal consequences as well as the loss of a person's integrity, trust, income, and close relationships.

Sex addiction isn’t defined by the frequency of sexual behavior or the types of behavior a person engages in. Its defining characteristic is loss of control, resulting in the inability to set a meaningful and lasting ability to prevent compulsive sexual impulses and urges.

Sexual addiction is highly reinforcing, since illicit sexual behavior unleashes a tidal wave of neurochemicals into the nervous system capable of serving a wide variety of mood-altering functions. Sexual obsession can quickly provide an all-purpose "high" to soothe, excite, comfort, escape and medicate almost any situation or feeling. The secrecy and shame that so often accompany this intense form of sexual behavior creates a strongly self-contained feedback loop that results in a perpetual cycle of relying on the very behavior that causes the pain and shame that a person is seeking to avoid.

This resulting tension between morals and desire often results in profound distress and dissociation.  A person must often numb one part of his or her personality to engage in the behavior that doesn’t fit the desired self-image or social relationships. The resulting lack of integration is the reason why an otherwise loving and moral person is able to engage in acts of utter deception and selfishness.

Healing and recovery from sexual addiction is entirely possible.  Components of healing include full self-acknowledgment to combat the inevitable tendency to minimize and deny the problem; developing coping mechanisms for recognizing and responding to sexual triggers; the gradual rebuilding of trust with significant others who have been traumatized by betrayal; the integration of sexuality with true intimacy; the reduction of shame that is often so emotionally paralyzing; and identifying and exploring any traumatic life history that often sets the stage for addictive behaviors in the first place.

The difficult process of facing the self and coming to terms with the full impact of sexual addiction can transform a person's life in the best ways possible. For many people who are struggling with sexual addiction, the process of “hitting the bottom” turns out to be a life-changing time of life for the betterment of everyone.

Recovery from sexual addiction is difficult work that is rarely successful alone. There’s an old saying that “your best thinking got you into this mess” so it’s risky to think you can somehow power your way out of the hole you’ve dug by yourself. There is a place for thinking and feeling but true recovery from any addiction requires action, often in ways that take a person far out of his or her comfort zone. The rewards of this work are beyond measure.

I encourage anyone concerned about the issue of sexual addiction to seek consultation from a reputable source of information and support to get practical ideas and effective strategies for overcoming its destructive power. I’ve had many years of experience helping people grow and heal from this disorder in ways that turn sorrow and remorse into joy and fulfillment and I am able to offer my experience to anyone seeking such help.

As a side note, many people may say "I'm not prepared to call myself a sex addict, I'm just having trouble controlling my sex drive or consistently making the right kinds of sexual decisions."  I'm totally fine with that approach.  I don't want to get caught up the words or force a label on someone who's not ready for it.  My approach is to be a supportive and objective resource in helping a person examine this form of sexual behavior and then decide what to do about it. It's the best way to:

Experience The Life You Deserve!