Helping Individuals and Couples Enjoy Sexual Integrity, Honesty and Responsibility
It's a sad reality of life that many people engage in secret, risky or unethical sexual behavior that eventually damages their relationships, their reputations or their principles. Perhaps this has happened to you, or to someone you know (or thought you knew). I specialize in helping people put their lives back together after the devastating discovery or disclosure of chronic sexual infidelity, and I'm available to offer the same assistance to you
Sexual desire is a wonderful component of a full and rich life, but for some people it can turn into an all-consuming lust capable of leading them to break sincere promises, betray sacred commitments, ignore important obligations or violate personal values and standards. It is this great disparity that is so shocking to discover, accept and reconcile when the truth emerges.
The Internet is often a major venue for people to engage in sexual actions that are neither safe nor sensible. While many otherwise moral, loving and trustworthy men and women have briefly dabbled with online browsing, flirting or cruising, most come to their senses pretty quickly and curtail such short-lived experimentation, finding it to be a fundamentally unpleasant or time-wasting experience.
Unfortunately, others continue to involve themselves in increasingly deceptive and emotionally unhealthy sexual behaviors even in the face of great risks to their health, job, relationships, integrity and self-esteem. And a few of them do it over and over, sometimes for years. It’s as if they are living two parallel lives, one that is open and above ground and the other that is secret, subterranean and often steeped in shame.
If this description seems familiar, I hope you will contact me right now to arrange an initial appointment for us to talk privately. Once the problem is out in the open (even if it is just in the privacy of a confidential counseling session) I can help people unify this split, heal the damage it has caused to themselves and others, and restore integrity and trustworthiness in their lives and relationships.
Secretive sexual behavior has the capability to manipulate any situation or feeling to justify itself. Emotional isolation and self-deception increases the presence of many forms of highly distorted thinking. These include attempts to rationalize inappropriate behavior through various excuses, to minimize the risk of negative outcomes, and to compartmentalize patterns of behavior that don’t fit together. The cumulative effect is the creation of a never-ending downward spiral that eventually results in tremendous pain and turmoil when this secret life is revealed.
Seeking intense sexual gratification in the face of such enormous risk is a fundamental flaw that is fatal to the functioning of any healthy relationship. It seems an inescapable conclusion that a person who's done this repeatedly either struggles with a sufficiently strong moral principle in this regard or has developed some degree of addiction to sexual desire.
Each possibility has profound implications for the quality of life such a person can experience or provide to others. The absence of either a steady moral compass or the requisite ability to control sexual thoughts, feelings and actions is not easily corrected. Truly beneficial change requires honesty, the humble recognition of a need for help, and a willingness to engage in the ultimately rewarding work of personal growth. If these qualities are initially present to even the slightest degree I can help build and channel them into a mighty force for change......but only if you reach out and let me help you!
Ongoing sexual deception is not just "a relationship problem". Lots of couples encounter deeply troubling conflicts without using them to justify secret sexual behavior. Of copurse, relationship problems are prevalent in these situations and need to be addressed and resolved as part of a comprehensive treatment plan. I provide effective couples counseling and over many years I've helped countless people get through all kinds of issues that initially seemed impossible to resolve. The bottom line is that the capacity to engage in ongoing deception needs to be directly addressed no matter what other issues are present.
It requires ongoing hard work (not just words, no matter how heartfelt) in order to rebuild damaged integrity, regain broken trust, heal traumatized relationships and repair all the layers of destruction to the mind, body and spirit that long-standing sexual secret-keeping causes. I’ve assisted many people to successfully get through countless variations of sexual unfaithfulness. Clients appreciate my effective counseling style that is direct while remaining compassionate, comprehensive while remaining focused, and highly professional while maintaining a gentle and genuine personal touch.
As stated above, sometimes the underlying problem is some degree of obsessive, compulsive or addictive sexual behavior (all different ways of saying basically the same thing). Now that we are in the post-Tiger Woods era this very real problem is not quite as difficult to acknowledge as in the past, although it stills takes a lot of courage to admit. This is far from being a catchphrase to excuse or justify inappropriate behavior. An inability to resist recurrent and overwhelming sexual urges requires an even deeper level of responsibility and an unwavering commitment to change. This is an issue that rarely just "goes away" on its own, no matter how sincerely a person makes promises and shows remorse.
Of course, not everyone who repeatedly makes ill-considered sexual choices is a "sex addict", and it is certainly a phrase some people are absolutely unwilling to consider for themselves. The Internet contains many tests, quizzes and inventories to help identify the signs of sexual addiction. Most of these are helpful to some degree but many are cumbersome, biased and include questions that confuse the issue. I designed the following Concise Assessment Of Sex Addiction (CASA) that avoids these pitfalls while getting to the heart of the matter.
- Do You Keep Secrets About Your Sexual Activities From People Who Are Most Important To You? Do You Lead A Double Life Regarding Some Aspects Of Your Sexual Behavior?
- Do You Become Sexual With People Or In Ways You Later Regret?
- Do You Find Yourself Seeking More Intense or Frequent Sexual Activity Despite Not Wanting To?
- Does Your Sexual Behavior Put You At Risk For Job Loss, Divorce, Disease, Legal Action or Other Dire Consequences?
- Have You Ever Broken A Sincerely Made Promise Never To Repeat A Particular Sexual Behavior?
If you don't see yourself in most or all of these questions, your sexual recklessness may not be primarily driven by addictive, obsessive or compulsive influences. However, any extremely poor and damaging sexual decisions you've made need to be dealt with in order to salvage your relationship, reputation or sense of integrity. I can help you to achieve these goals through the use of discrete, respectful, focused and effective counseling, which I offer to both individuals and couples in my private office.
However, if you do see yourself in most or all of these questions the good news is that I can help you get your life back on track and moving forward to a better future. I have years of experience helping guide countless people from all walks of life out of heartbreak, shame and sorrow into a renewed life filled with honesty and integrity, responsible sexual expression and healthy, loving relationships. If you are willing to make an investment in your own future then I can do the same for you
To learn more about my approach to sexually addictive behavior and its treatment you can read my article entitled "Healing From Sex Addiction". I've also created an informative and inviting brochure that describes sexual addiction and many of the benefits of my counseling services, which you are free to view, download, print and share with others who may benefit from what I have to offer.
I hope you take all the time you need to browse my website. You will find a great deal of information that can give you the hope you need to grow and heal from the pain of your past into a brighter, happier future. Admitting that the time has come for respectful and knowledgeable professional assistance is a hallmark of great courage and the gateway to a much healthier and happier life. When you are ready to achieve the kind of life you deserve, send me an email or give me a call so that I can help you turn that desire into a reality!
Are you ready to reach out? Do it now.
-Bill
----------------------------------------
My counseling office is easily accessible from all areas of metro Atlanta including Alpharetta, Buckhead, Clarkston, Conyers, Decatur, Chamblee, East Point, Fayetteville, Forest Park, Johns Creek, Lawrenceville, Lilburn, Marietta, Milton, Peachtree City, Riverdale, Roswell, Sandy Springs, Smyrna, Snellville, Stone Mountain, Sugar Hill, Suwanee, Tucker and surrounding areas.
