General

Mud Moments in Earth School

I enjoy catchy phrases and sayings, especially when I hear one that I haven't stumbled across this far along the road (although I guess nothing is really "far" on a limitless journey).  Two phrases caught my ear recently, and I combined them in the title.  One is "mud moment" and the other is "Earth school".

Do Something Different

One piece of advice I sometimes give to my Atlanta psychotherapy and counseling clients may seem too simple to have lasting impact. However, just because something is simple doesn't mean that it's easy, and what I'm about to say can go a long way in helping you to overcome virtually any personal issue that is negatively impacting your life.

Stop Lying.

One of my Atlanta counseling and psychotherapy specialities is to help people who have a problem with chronic infidelity and sexual deception.  This kind of behavior happens for many different conscious and unconscious causes.  Even though there is no single reason for this kind of behavior, if I had only one piece of advice and 10 seconds to give it, it would be this:

Stop lying.  Forever.  About anything.    

Be Thankful for Painful Consequences

As much as they hurt, sometimes there is reason to be thankful for painful consequences.

Every action (and even inaction) has an effect. This seems pretty straight-forward, right? Yet all too often we want to avoid experiencing negative consequences for what we did or didn't do. The result of this avoidance is that we are much less likely to learn from our mistakes.

Are You Walking a Maze or a Labyrinth?

On the grounds of my Atlanta psychotherapy and counseling office is a secluded walking labyrinth. Many people find that walking a labyrinth before or after a counseling session can be a helpful way to reflect and meditate upon important insights and emerging emotions.

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How Do You Paint a Flower?

 

People who appreciate art know that the same image can be viewed in many ways. Van Gogh, Rembrandt or Picasso will depict the same flower very differently. Is any one of them "wrong"? Of course not. Each artist reveals some essential aspect of that flower's beauty. This simple statement holds some wisdom for relationships.

The Mule Trainer's Lesson

I recently told one of my clients an old joke about a farmer who couldn't get his mule to do any work, so he hired a famous mule trainer. The man came to his farm, immediately picked up a heavy stick and whapped the mule on the nose. "Don't train my mule that way!" the farmer demanded. The trainer said "Oh, I haven't started the training, I'm just getting its attention." 

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A Therapist's View of the Ashley Madison Fall-Out

 

I was briefly interviewed last week for thoughts about the implication of the recent Ashley Madison data breach.  Here's the clip.  It's not long but I hope it helped at least a few people. Next time I'll smile more!  I've also written a few words for those personally affected by this situation.

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Lean in the Opposite Direction

 

In my Atlanta counseling practice I've helped people who have all sorts of personalities. From the rigid to the disorganized, from the serious to the silly, from the extremely anxious to the overconfident, everyone has a unique combination of traits. One of the opportunities of a therapist is to help people develop some of the underdeveloped parts of their personalities.

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You're Not Upset

This essay is partly a companion piece to one of my previous posts titled “You’re Not Fine”.  Both caution against using words or concepts that seem to carry specific meanings but which actually lack the ability to foster productive communication.  And when it comes to emotionally charged discussions the words we use can make the difference between a productive or detrimental outcome.    From this perspective, using the word “upset” seldom helps any situation.

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