Insights from Atlanta Counselor Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT

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Over the years I've enjoyed writing little essays and observations about a variety of topics related to personal growth, emotional development, relationship enhancenment and other topics I find meaningful and interesting. I hope you enjoy them! 

You can read small snippets of each blog post below: click the title of any that interest you to read the entire post.  Each entry has also been loosely grouped into categories which can help guide your viewing.

Wisdom Quote: Be Resourceful In inspiring Yourself

Become as resourceful in inspiring yourself to enter your own peace as you are at being neurotic and competitive in the world.

-- Sogyal Rinpoche

This quote resonates deeply with me since I'm very good at generating neurotic, self-defeating, resentful and similarly unproductive thoughts. It's not that I'm trying or wanting to produce them; they just come naturally, generally without a great deal of self-awareness. I'm neither proud nor ashamed of this fact. It simply is what it is.

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A Therapist's View of the Ashley Madison Fall-Out

 

I was briefly interviewed last week for thoughts about the implication of the recent Ashley Madison data breach.  Here's the clip.  It's not long but I hope it helped at least a few people. Next time I'll smile more!  I've also written a few words for those personally affected by this situation.

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Lean in the Opposite Direction

 

In my Atlanta counseling practice I've helped people who have all sorts of personalities. From the rigid to the disorganized, from the serious to the silly, from the extremely anxious to the overconfident, everyone has a unique combination of traits. One of the opportunities of a therapist is to help people develop some of the underdeveloped parts of their personalities.

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Apologizing vs. Empathizing

 

I've previously written at length about the art of apologizing, since a full apology is much more than saying "I'm sorry".  It's important to highlight one point which gets often gets overlooked when one person tries to apologize to another. It involves the important distinction between apologizing and empathizing.

Smart vs. Wise

This is another entry to my list of "therapeutic distinctions", pairs of words that at first glace may seem similar but which reveal important differences upon closer investigation . Today I want to compare intelligence and wisdom, since what it means to smart is not the same as being wise.

Absence of the Negative vs. Presence of the Positive

What prevents us from being happy?  Often our search for happiness seems elusive because of some negative influence that is getting in the way.  But is that all there is to it?

The Best One-Word Question in Psychotherapy

As a counselor and psychotherapist part of my job is to help clients explore important life issues that can bring lasting positive change.  One advice I can give to my younger colleagues in the field is to not stop too soon when exploring a particular question.  Like excavating a treasure or drilling for oil, deeper explorations can yield valuable results.

You're Not Upset

This essay is partly a companion piece to one of my previous posts titled “You’re Not Fine”.  Both caution against using words or concepts that seem to carry specific meanings but which actually lack the ability to foster productive communication.  And when it comes to emotionally charged discussions the words we use can make the difference between a productive or detrimental outcome.    From this perspective, using the word “upset” seldom helps any situation.

Fueled By or Ruled By?

Do you know the difference between something that inspires you and something that controls you? Can you tell the difference between motivation and compulsion? It's not always easy to tell the difference.

Time Trip Tips

Living 'here and now' is not easy to do for any significant length of time. We are constantly being swept back into our remembered past or forward into our imagined future.

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