A Collection of Sex Addiction Resources For Information and Support
This is a collection of websites, articles and videos about various aspects of sex addiction that I think are interesting and useful, especially to people who are dealing with this issue in their lives. Categories on this page include:
- a few of my favorite sex addiction blogs,
- some first-person stories about sex addiction,
- some articles about women and sex addiction,
- articles about partners of sex addicts,
- some overviews and controversies about sex addiction,
- resources about porn addiction,
- some interesting videos about sex addiction and
- information for professionals and researchers
PLEASE NOTE: A lot more information than this is available online. Many of the most popular authors (like Patrick Carnes) are missing here. A simple Google search will lead you to the most popular information sites. Most of what you will find on this page are "hidden gems" I've found over the years. Not every one of these resources will fit all tastes. The resources on this site reflect a range of writing styles and specific audiences. But I can say confidently that time spent looking over some of these resources will likely reward you with greater understanding, insight, empathy and even inspiration.
Many blogs come and go, but a few continue providing high quality information for years. Here are three of mycolleagues who are gifted writers on this topic. Of course, as in any collection there are bound to be some articles that have greater appeal than others. Rather than highlighting individual entries that I find most helpful I will just point toward any of the following blog sites with a hearty thumbs-up.
Linda Hatch is a therapist in priate practice in California, where she specializes in sex addiction treatment for individuals and couples. She is a prolific and gifted writer on this topic, and perusing this blog site will reveal many insights and practical guidelines. She also seems to have another blog of equally insightful articles and observations in addition to this one. Where does she find the time?!
Alexandra Katehakis is the director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. She is one of the true pioneers in the movement to help couples damaged by sex addiction and other forms of betrayal develop true intimate sexuality.
Rob Weiss is an absolute treasure. A prolific author and speaker, he is the founder of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles and now directs the growth and direction of several of the most noteworthy treatment programs for sex addiction and related intimacy disorders in the world. He is a well-recognized expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality. Time spent on this blog as well as a separate one he writes called It's Cheating: Infidelity in the Digital Age will be a highly rewarding experience.
Even at this stage of evolved understanding there are still people who scoff at the notion of sex addiction. Sometimes the best "proof" that this is a real problem is to simply be open to the stories of people who have grappled with this problem in their personal lives. Here are a few such narratives that have appeared over the last few years. Note that most of these have appeared online in formats that have allowed for reader commentary, which can sometimes be instructive s a way of measuring public opinion about these intimate and often hotly-contested issues. I've come to appreciate that some people aren't familiar with the confessional process of story telling that promotes healing by revealing truths that are often not shared in public forum.
This is a skillfully written personal narrative, full of courage and vulnerability. It's a typically excellent article from the Good Men Project.
This article, from "The Fix" contains extremely graphic descriptios of sexual objectification, so this may not be an appropriate article if you are easily offended by such language and content. It does, howeverm offer another perspective into the interior landscape of a self-identified sex addict. The author is female, but rather than put it in that separate category of "Female Sex Addiction" it somehow seemed more appropriate in this section.
Another very well written first person account. This one is especially useful for its description of how the use of polygraph helped a couple develop trust and accountability.
This is a useful 2013 article from The Atlantic that provides a general overview of sex addiction from the female perspectice, which is valuable since so many articles focus on men. As is often the case in these types of articles the reader comments are spirited and reflect the range of opinions on this topic.
This is an extremely well-written article from 2012. Does a good job of describing both sex and love addiction and provides a clear example of how the internet fuels certain addictive rituals in a never-ending, escalating cycle.
This is a moving except from the recent book "Naked in Public: A Memoir of Recovery From Sex Addiction and Other Temproary Insanities" by Seattle psychotherapist Staci Sprout. Her story is courageous and inspiring and gives clear evidence that the antidote to toxic shame and isolation is honesty and connection with others.
"The more casual sex I have the lonlier I feel." People willing to share their vulnerabilities, like this author, deserve a lot of support. There is also a link in this article to an earlier one written by the same author, which is also worth reading.
This is a brief, well-written account of a person's gradual understanding of the similarities between substance addictions like alcohol and "process" addictions like sex.
There are many paths to healing for couples who have been damaged by sex addiction. The concept of "codependency" which was once almost always used to describe partners until the inevitable effects of trauma were better understood, is used by this author. Again, the reader comments can be merciless (anonymity ofte brings out the worst in people).
For individuals in 12-step-based sex addiction recovery, this article is an outstanding statement of principle for keeping the balance in favor of the betrayed partner's healing. The only point I don't agree with is the recommendation that disclosures should optimally happen in 3-day retreats.
This is a short and somewhat breezy blog post by Grace Adams, who wrote perhaps the only book on sex addiction partner recovery that has some humor in places.
This was the Newsweek cover story from late 2011, and is an accurate and informative general account of the main issues related to this topic.
This is a pretty balanced article articulating the "pro and con" issues that are often debated in regard to this complex topic
I thought about putting this article in the following "Porn Addiction" category, but since the author does such a great job explaining the debate between those who support and oppose the "addiction" label to describe excessive porn consumption I figured I would put it here.
As the tag line says, "evolution has prepared your brain for today's porn". This site contains an absolute wealth of information about the effects of internet pornography. I recommend this site often to people struggling with porn overuse.
This excellent blog by Mark Chamberlain contains a lot of great information for people healing from porn addiction, centered around a simple but often revolutionary principle: be honest about the struggle.
This is just what it claims to be, an "unbiased, comprehensive and up-to-date resource for information about options for quitting porn and overcoming pornography addiction".
Anyone who is struggling with the negative effects of chronic porn use and seeking a way out needs to know about the NoFap movement. Also look at this overview of hte NoFap movement for more information. There is some powerful, inspiring -- and funny -- support to be found here.
For some reason ths recently added (July 2016) Youtube video is both unlisted and untitled. So it's one of those hidden gems like I love to share! Contains some cursing and references to unusual sexual interests, so you need to be cool with that.
This three minute video pack a lot of information into a short period of time. It's really not complicated. Since this is a video I put it last to lead into the next category.
From 2014, this 18 minute video is well worth the time it takes to watch it. Our stories heal us.
Jason Chu has created a simple and powerful video about the destructive potential of sex and porn addiction. Moving.
I've watched this 3 minute video by therapist George Collins several times and smile every time.
In less than five minutes my British colleague Paula Hall uses an illustrated metaphor for to explain the "neuropathways" of sex and porn addiction. Understanding brain chemistry can be very helpful in explaining the "rewiring" that is the essence of recovery.
The former NFL player and actor speaks very openly about his porn addiction. The ease and openess he demonstrates when describing his journey is refreshing and shame-free.
Miscellaneous Sex Addiction Articles and Resources
This glossary is very helpful for people trying to figure out all of the specialized terms that have developed around this topic.
If this story truly reflects reality then this man deserves respect for his fight with his greatest adversary: himself.
This essay, which is not to be confused with an article I wrote with a very similar name, is a brilliant analysis of the phrases used in this field.
This is a site I put together to assist members of the professional community who are seeking a clinical overview of concepts, theories, practice models and research in this complex field of study.
I hope you have found something valuable in these suggested resources. This is in no way a conclusive listing; it's more a representative tasting. I'm certainly willing to add to this listing, so if you want to make any suggestions you can let me know whatthey are and I'll look at them and get back to you. And of course if I can be of personal assistance to you I hope you will reach out to me for that purpose as well. Nothing takes the place of personal, individualized asistance.
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